When Ministry Priorities, Finances, and Conflict Collide.

When Ministry Priorities, Finances, and Conflict Collide. 

Ministry can become a large part of our identity. 

As a result of the temptation to find our identity and value in what God has called us to do it hurts when people abandon the ministry God has called you to build.  

That abandonment hurts even more when you once believed that God had brought them as co-laborers. 

So how do we deal with abandonment and pain in ministry? 

Setting the Stage 

To set the stage, I am going to share a bit of my personal story and experience in pastoral and ministry leadership.  

When I first began pastoring, over a decade ago, God brought me into an interesting situation. I was brought in as a bi-vocational solo pastor in a church that had been in steep decline for over two decades.  

I had a lot of family connections to that church. My maternal grandfather had at one point been the interim pastor at that particular church for five years. My paternal grandfather was ordained as a deacon in that church.  

Other than my maternal grandparents attending when health allowed, most of my direct family were no longer at the church or in the area. However, there were many church members who had remained close to my family. There were even a few church members that were related to me through marriage.  

So, a great many of the people in the church had known me as a pre-teen and teenager. One lady shared a picture of her holding me as an infant.  

I had grown up hearing about how dedicated to ministry many of these people were and was excited to provide my youthful energy to a congregation that wanted to be a part of Jesus changing lives.  

The first year went pretty smoothly, partly because other than preaching some sermons that stepped on toes, I didn’t change much.  

I had been given some well-intentioned advice, “Don’t change anything your first year.” 

The downfall of that advice was that by not making any changes my first year, I set the expectation that growth could happen without change and without pain.  

Once my first year was complete, I began making some incremental changes and presenting a vision that was focused on expanding the Kingdom through becoming a church for the current neighborhood. 

Beyond small changes and providing a vision, I began addressing some of the idols that I had noticed in my year of observation and relationship building. I took a more direct approach in confronting emotional and cultural idols and presenting them as idols in opposition to Jesus. 

I thoroughly believed that our congregation wanted to grow. I believed that we wanted to see lives changed in Jesus both now and for eternity. I believed that our congregation, especially the established leaders, were ready and willing to experience growing pains to become the church God was calling us to be.  

I was wrong. In fact, I was incredibly mistaken about some of these leaders and powerbrokers in the church. 

Some began to vocally oppose the direction I was leading the church, and they spread lies to make it appear like I was trying to destroy and close the church. They opposed any changes in practice and budget that were proposed. These malcontents controlled through culture, permission, and money. They stopped giving to the general budget and either only funded their own side ministries or designated donations in a way that it could not be used for the new direction of the church. 

A couple of leaders were quietly supportive and/or waiting for the dust to settle and others left in their own timing. 

Ministry Does Not Occur in a Vaccuum of Perfection 

In much of my ministry education, I was taught about the importance of basing ministry on Scripture and using that to unite community and present vision for the future.  

There was often this sanitized picture of ministry leadership presented as though at least the leadership would be comprised of Godly people that wanted to obey Scripture. However, many churches, especially smaller churches, fill the lay leadership roles with those who either have the money and/or are willing to work.  

Our churches too often reward good workers with positions they are not Biblically qualified for.  

Sometimes, church members are put in positions they are not qualified for because their work ethic or church donations make them appear more mature than they are. Other times, there are position quotas that push a church into making poor selections. (Must have x number of elders, deacons, consistory, or board members to be in compliance with a church constitution or organization bi-laws.) 

Be very careful about who you welcome into positions of authority and leadership in Jesus’ church and Jesus focused organizations because a vacant role is better than lending the authority of Jesus to someone who will cause division and disregard towards Scripture. 

The reasoning behind why congregants wind up in positions that they are unqualified for is less important, especially since many of them will be in those positions prior to a pastor or organization leader being called. You will not have any say as to who is in leadership when a church, ministry, or business first calls you to lead them. 

It is much easier to deal with misbehaving employees, but anyone who has fired someone will tell you that firing people is not comfortable or convenient. Firing nonpaid volunteers that are an active part of your community is even more difficult. 

Remove the Cancer 

What I recommend is to follow Jesus’ directions on how to deal with a brother that is sinning against you found in Matthew 18:15-17: 

15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 

You may be tempted to hold off on confronting sin and division in your organization for a lot of reasons. Perhaps you don’t want to be perceived as lacking in grace. Maybe you are afraid of losing a friendship. Or you could be worried about the financial fallout of having a big donor walk away and discourage other donors from giving. 

This is an opportunity for you to obey Jesus, protect the community, and trust God to provide. 

Goals of Discipline 

There are two goals in confronting someone who is creating division: 

1. Maintaining the unity of the community.  
2. Bringing the sinning person to repentance. 

The goal of maintaining unity in the community is of the upmost importance. In Jesus’ Priestly Prayer (John 17), Jesus prayed for the unity of His followers. When discord is permitted in a church, community, or organization, it will not remain with the initial instigator. Discord and disunity will spread through the entire organization if allowed to go unchecked. 

I know that it is tempting to give space and grace to those who are stirring up trouble in hopes that they will come around to the vision that God is leading. DO NOT allow those who seek to cause division room to sow more division. 

The second goal in confronting a divisive person is to offer them a chance to repent.  

We must not allow our own hurt to get in the way of someone repenting.  

At the same time, we must not allow a timidness disguised as grace to allow sin to spread. 

The unity and health of the church, ministry, and organization must not be sacrificed as we wait for repentance.  

Pray for anyone that is choosing to remain opposed to God’s vision, AND do not allow them access to the rest of the community God has entrusted to you and your care. 

Note: You may not have the positional authority to remove someone who is on the ruling board, and it is likely that you have not yet built the substantial trust in the organization required to remove an unrepentant sinner from certain positions of authority.  So what do you do when that is your situation? 

Personally, when I was experiencing massive blowback in my first pastorate from divisive and unrepentant leaders, I was reading through the Psalms. I kept coming across these imprecatory Psalms. The Psalmist was basically saying, “Get ‘em God.” 

I felt God pushing me to pray my own set of imprecatory prayers. I wasn’t comfortable with praying an unqualified prayer of judgement on this leader, but I pleaded with God, “Father, bring them to repentance, but if they will not repent, get them out of Your way.” Within a week of praying that prayer the leader of the rebellion was diagnosed with a terminal illness.  

God will protect His church. He will protect the growth of His Kingdom. Sometimes, our responsibility is simply to be faithful, pray, and watch God work.  

Dealing with Abandonment 

We have touched on the importance of addressing disunity in Christian leadership. However, what do we do with our own emotional fallout in the wake of people abandoning or opposing the vision God gives us? 

1. Daily take time to rest in and connect with God. 
2. Sabbath rest with your family (Spouse, children living at home, or alone if single). 
3. Allow yourself the opportunity to grieve broken relationships. 
4. Remind yourself of who God has declared you to be in Christ Jesus. 
5. Remind yourself of God’s past faithfulness. 
6. Recommit yourself to trusting that God will remain faithful.  
7. Invest in those who do share the vision God has given you. 

God has called you to be strong and courageous in leading His people. Ministry can be beautiful and rewarding. Serving Jesus will also require you to make decisions that are unpopular, in order to follow His lead.  

Jesus and His Followers 

I’d like to leave you with the reminder that each of Jesus’ disciples failed Him. One even betrayed Him. So, it is not a moral failing on your part when those God has called you to lead choose to betray, fail, abandon, and oppose you and the vision God has given you. 

Your responsibility is to keep pursuing your God-given vision and finding your identity and value in Christ.