Fine Line Between Discernment and a Critical Spirit

Are you discerning? 

While some Christians have the spiritual gift of discernment, all believers are called to be discerning. 

At the same time, there is a fine line between discernment and a critical spirit. 

Especially, in times when I have been mistreated and hurt, it has been far too easy for me to distort discernment into a critical spirit.  

The most common abuse of discernment that I see is when hurt and angry Christians take on a holier than thou attitude.  

I was recently talking to several Christian friends, one was telling people, "It's ok to go to church, but make sure that you are trusting your spirit over the pastor." Quickly the conversation devolved into one of mistrust of churches and a couple of the people took that as an opportunity to share why they were disillusioned with church.  

One friend announced that he would never go back to church and proceeded to begin sharing why he could never find a church that was right for him.  

I felt like screaming. The conversation had taken such a negative direction towards the bride of Christ.  

As I processed through what was being discussed, I noticed an important distinction.  

The goal of Discernment is to right what is wrong, pursuing healthy in the love of Christ.  

The goal of a Critical Spirit is to tear down and discredit, the end result being villainizing people and throwing the baby out with the bathwater.  

I don't write this to bring condemnation or shame on those who are already hurting. I am writing this article so that we as followers of Jesus can discern when we are tearing down rather than building up in Love. 

3 Helpful Questions 

Here are three questions to ask yourself and God that will help us determine if we are crossing the line from discernment into that of a critical spirit. 

1. What is my goal in complaint or confrontation? 

1. What pain might I be speaking out of? 

1. Am I vilifying a person or a sinful behavior? 

What is my Goal in Complaining or Confronting? 

When we confront or talk about something being wrong, what goal are we working toward? 

Is our goal also the benefit of the person (or people) that you are confronting? 

Too often in my personal experience, when I have been hurt, my call for justice has been characterized by vengeance and a desire for those who have hurt me or my loved ones to experience and "appropriate" pain themselves. 

Christians and church organizations often wind up hurting people out of neglect, sin, and being oblivious. 

How do we respond to being hurt? 

Do you want to tear down the organization?  

Do you cut off relationship? 

Do you destroy community? 

or 

Do you build community? 

Do you restore relationships? 

Do you genuinely desire that churches grow in spiritual, emotional, relational, and numerical ways? 

What Pain Might I Be Speaking Out Of? 

Pain distorts clarity.  

Think of a time when you broke a bone or stubbed your toe so hard that you saw stars.  

Just like physical pain can distort your ability to see clearly, emotional and spiritual pain can distort your ability to see clearly.  

About a year ago, I was spending time with a family member, and they were rude, dismissive, and hostile. At first I took it very personally. My first instinct was to lash back. I'm grateful that I didn't take the opportunity, but the interaction blurred my vision for a couple of days following. I struggled to focus on my work. I kept replaying the events and the conversations in my head like a horrible song on repeat.  

In a non-audible voice, God spoke in to my spirit, "They are responding out of pain and trauma."  

All of a sudden, I saw the situation in a new light. The lashing out was a response to unhealed trauma. I just happened to be the outlet.  

I wish that I would say that the pain and insult rolled off me because I could see clearly. Unfortunately, the events had reinforced some of my own fears and previous trauma.  

It takes active reminder on my part to remind myself of a fuller version of the picture rather than simply zeroed in on my own pain.  

I suspect there are similar areas in your life because outside of Jesus, we are sinful and broken people living in a sinful and broken world with other sinful and broken people. There is so much pain present in our lives that it becomes very difficult to see clearly.  

Yet, one of the powerful steps to regaining our vision is being able to recognize that our vision has been impaired by our own trauma and pain.  

Recognizing that someone is mistreating us out of pain does not excuse the behavior, but hopeful it will empower us to give more grace as we recognize that other people's behavior is often not intended personally but it is coping mechanism for their unhealed wounds in life.  

Am I Vilifying the Person or Their Sinful Behavior? 

Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well, lives rent free in my mind.  

When Jesus interacted with the Samaritan woman, Jesus brought the behavior into the light for her to see clearly, but He addressed her sin rather than vilifying her.  

Jesus affirmed the Samaritan woman's dignity, value, and worth by interacting with her in compassion.  

When Jesus was presented with a woman caught in adultery, Jesus told her that He did not condemn her and directed her to "go and sin no more."  

There are times when Jesus boldly addresses predatory and sinful behavior like when Jesus overturned tables in the temple court and when He warned people about the behavior of the Pharisees.  

Sill Jesus' goal is repentance and restoration over vilification and dehumanization of broken people. 

Look at the words of God in Ezekiel 33:11: 

"Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?" 

If you are to display the character of God, you will desire the repentance and restoration of those who do evil. 

Our Response 

Over the last two decade, we have seen a disturbing number of Christian Leaders and Christian organizations have failed in some spectacularly awful ways. People have responded with a tendency toward either ignoring the problems or a holier than thou attitude.  

Jesus neither ignored the problem of our sin nor did He seek our destruction. 

Instead, Jesus addressed our sin and created a way for us to go forward without continuing to harm those around us.  

For us to be Christ-like, we must begin by opening our eyes to problems in and out of the Church. We must seek to provide opportunities of repentance and restoration for those who have sinned rather than excitedly calling for their destruction.  

Additional Thought  

Many of us, as conservative Christians, express frustration over cancel culture. We point to Jesus' forgiveness and the truth God can save and redeem anyone. A person should not lose their ability to contribute to society because of something they said or did in the past.  

Yet, when it concerns Christians, especially Christian leaders, we light the proverbial pyre to burn them at the stake.   

Shifting this culture of Christian Cancel Culture begins with remembering that God redeems all things. 

Romans 8:28 says: 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 

When a sinner becomes a Christian we proclaim the abundance of God's grace. 

However, when a Christian sins, we pick up the sword of condemnation. That sword is not ours to carry. 

My hope and my prayer is that you and I will help shift the culture in our churches to being discerning rather than critical.